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Here is where I share my late night ramblings that will hopefully contain some useful wisdom to help bring more love and joy into your relationships.

By Lara Barge, Mar 22 2016 08:57PM

We must drop our roots down into the dark depths of the fertile earth to allow our branches to grow high and reach the golden heavens.

It can take a huge amount of courage to embrace someone in their fullness and ride the waves through the storms, but from it comes many gifts and blessings.

The saying "calm seas don't make good sailors" is a great quote.

It is in the rough storms that we really learn how to sail.

If I have not seen someones anger and the fullness of their rage then how can I trust them. Some people sail through calm sunny seas beautifully for many years and then a storm comes in and it can be a shock to watch the ship hit rocks and sink. I need to see how they sail in the big storms to really know I can trust them to sail.

That doesnt mean someone has to be perfect and know how to navigate every situation, but the more we really know and understand someone the more we know how to sail together.

There is a great power in being able to stand in front of someones storms. And we must first become comfortable with our own storms and shadows before we can fully embrace those of others.

On my journey, (I am still on it, and still learning everyday), I have learned that as long as I am not comfortable with my own anger I can not safely stand in front of someone elses.

My tendency is to not get angry with people, instead I always find a way to harmonise a dynamic or extract myself from the situation. And as I have not explored my own anger enough, the thought of getting really angry terrifies me. It is an unknown terrain and the unknown is a scary place for me.

Part of my journey is learning to embrace my anger and give it space to be expressed. It is my own anger, (power), that enables me to stand safely in front of the anger, (power) of others. To do that I must first know it, be comfortable with it and embrace it.

This is an epic journey for me, a challenging one, but an incredibly rewarding one. I have been so afraid of loosing control of not knowing how it will be if I let myself get angry.

This is my personal shadow that I am learning to embrace so that I can embrace it in others.

And slowly slowly I am creating the space to explore it. Embracing the moments that push me to the edge, and allowing my anger to rise up.

It is important to create safe containers in relationship. To work to together to create a ship that can hold and support you both.

It is useful to get to know each other, but more importantly is getting to know ourselves. We need to discover our shadows, the parts we hide from ourselves, the areas where we can make space to grow. And then we can share that with our partners, and grow together.

Being in a relationship is one of the greatest opportunities to continuously dive deep into learning and discovering more about ourselves. Constantly having aspects of our imbalances reflected back to us through the mirror of relationship.

This piece was inspired by a quote from Mia Hallow~

"Bring me the riot in your heart. Angry, Wild, and Raw. Bring it all. I am not afraid of the dark."

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